


It's quite alright to hate me now

by shootfortherarls



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: A LOT of angst if you squint lmaoo, Billy isn't good at communicating, Billy reflecting on past thoughts, Billy's view of things, Boys Kissing, Hand Holding during Sex, M/M, Smut, This was originally suppose to be a sad ending soo, but you can infer, doesnt go too far in depth about Billy's abuse, fucc yeah, he fucking loves Steve, just Billy and Steve doing their thing, steve loves this emotionless boy who only has emotions for him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-20
Updated: 2017-12-20
Packaged: 2019-02-17 05:54:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13070508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shootfortherarls/pseuds/shootfortherarls
Summary: That was the first time Billy laid his eyes on Steve and the beginning of of a never ending, mindfucking relationship that Billy wishes had never even started.Because Steve Harrington was someone who made Billy question everything about his life.





	It's quite alright to hate me now

**Author's Note:**

> this is v long sorryyyy but I think it's pretty good:)

The first time Billy sees Steve, he doesn't really know what is fully happening in his brain or what's going on with his body but all he knew was that he liked the way the older boy's brown hair bounced as he walked with so much pep in his step it was almost sickening to Billy. Billy also loved the way Steve literally said hi to everyone, Billy at first, wasn't sure if it was just that particular day that everyone at that horrid school was greeting Steve but every person at their locker was sending a greeting to the boy walking down the hallway and Steve had sent back one, just as happy as them, or maybe even happier. That was the first time Billy laid his eyes on Steve and the beginning of of a never ending, mindfucking relationship that Billy wishes had never even started.

Because Steve Harrington was someone who made Billy question everything about his life.

-

"What the fuck is it Hargrove? What do you want from me? I tried to be nice to you the minute coach introduced you to the team but you just always thought being an asshole seemed better huh, I don't need that shit in my life so either you stop acting like a fucking psychopath during practice or-"

"Or what Harrington? What are you gonna do?"

And then Steve is hurling himself at Billy, thrusting a fist at the other boy's jaw, his fist connects harshly against Billy and Billy dodges the next fist that's about to send a blow towards his head as he grabs Steve by the elbows and tries to push him against a wall, careful not to fall in the still wet floor of the shower room.

Steve's head slams against the pink tiles of the wall behind him as Billy squeezes his bare elbows harder.

"Let me make one thing clear, if you're gonna fucking punch me, at least don't hit like a bitch,"

Billy grips Steve's elbows tighter, and stares at the older boy who appears to be an inch or two shorter than him. Billy wants to punch the shit out of Steve's stupid, flustered, angry and hot face. He wants to punch it until he can no longer feel his heart race at the simple feel of Steve's back brushing against his chest during practice.

Billy doesn't notice that the two boys breathing and glaring into each other's eyes, has now made the tension in the room change completely, that anger is still underlying between them but there's now a glint of lust in Steve's eyes and Billy knows for a fact, his eyes are showing the same emotion.

"Fuck you, Hargrove,"

Steve practically whispers the words, Billy's sure they were meant to sound harsher, rather than lust filled, and he doesn't know why his dick twitches at the words but he simply thinks 'fuck it' as he drops Steve's elbows and grips the soft head of hair.

Steve's lips are lightly chapped but overall soft and plush like, that's the first thing Billy notices.Their kiss is all tongue, teeth and spit and Billy can't get enough of it as he sucks in Steve's lips releasing a soft moan from the older boy. Billy groans as he feels Steve press his crotch against his thigh, feeling Steve's hard, underwear clad cock practically begging him for more contact.

"Jesus Christ,"

Billy mumbles parting his lips away from Steve's lips and kissing down his neck, Billy wouldn't admit it but Steve Harrington looked so fucking beautiful flushed, with sex crazed hair. Billy's so goddamn happy Steve only had on underwear, he couldn't wait to watch the shorter boy fall apart.

Once Billy drops to his knees, he can't help but lick the hairs that lead straight to the awaiting cock, that's leaking through the tight white underwear, Steve let's out a shaky breath as he places his hand on Billy's head.

"Hands off Harrington, I may be blowing you but you still can't touch my hair,"

This earns Billy an eye roll from Steve as he moves his hands onto the wall, trying to grip what little bit he can as Billy tugs down his underwear, the cool air hitting his leaking member.

"Billy,"

And Steve's never used Billy's first name so it's almost shocking at the effect it has on Billy and his body, because in that one short moment, Billy wasn't 'Hargrove' the guy that harassed Steve Harrington because he couldn't handle his fucking emotions, in that moment he was just Billy, Billy Hargrove who moved from California to Hawkins, Indiana.

Billy doesn't know how long he's pushing Steve's Harrington's cock down his throat, or how long it takes before Steve's eyes are closing and he's letting out a choked out moan as he instinctively grips Billy's head and holds it in place as his cum fills Billy's mouth and throat. Billy would be mad at this if it wasn't for how pretty and peaceful Steve looked after he came.

When Steve comes down from his high, Billy is looking up at him so needingly, and no matter how much Billy tormented Steve ever since he got here, Steve couldn't leave him like that.

"I can help you,"

"Nah, it's fine, I have to run but I'll be sure to jerk off to that pretty little mouth of yours,"

Billy winks as he stands up, adjusting himself, watching Steve's eyes land on the bulge in his pants.

"So you're really gonna walk out of here like that, c'mon man, I can at least give you a quick handjob or something?"

Billy cant help but flash a smug smirk as he leans in close until his lips are brushing against Steve's ear.

"Don't worry, next time I'll be sure to use you're hand to cum with,"

And Steve wasn't really expecting a next time, because this is Billy Hargrove and the guy is really fucking random so this could've been a one time thing that they never speak of. Billy wasn't even expecting himself to say there was going to be a next time but seeing how fucking hot Steve was post orgasm, Billy couldn't help but want to be able to explore even more of the lean boy's body.

-

There was a next time, and a time after that, and a time after that, until Billy truthfully lost count, all he knew was that every time he watched Steve's orgasm hit him, he felt himself fall more and more for the boy. He's not sure when his relationship with Steve had became as amicable as it was but the boys no longer fought during practice, they didn't even make little, smart comments at each other, in fact one day, Billy was completely out of it and missing every shot into the basket, coach started yelling at Billy and maybe it was the way Steve had sent him this look that made Billy's stomach flutter but all Billy could think was 'what did he do to get with this kid?' the thing is Steve is way too nice, so nice to the point that Billy had actually felt nauseous at the thought of Steve's look he had sent Billy was one being concerned. Steve Harrington was concerned for him and Billy's never really had someone give a shit about him so everything was new and exciting.

And just like that, after practice when everyone leaves the gym, Steve is grabbing Billy's hand so softly and by gut reaction Billy snatches his hand away so hard, it flies into his thigh.

"Don't hold my hand Harrington, we're not boyfriends or some shit, we fuck and that's that,"

Billy pretends not to feel his heart drop as he hears the harsh words flow out his mouth, he also tries not to ignore the lump forming in his throat when he sees Steve's face falter for a second, it's as if the other boy's hopes and dreams were crushed right in front of him.

"Why the fuck do you do this man? No one's asking you to fucking marry me, alright?"

Steve pushes past Billy, bumping his shoulder hard against him, Billy watches as Steve walks out of the gym into the shower room, almost as if on cue, when the door slams shut, Billy feels a tear run down his face before he's wiping it quickly and does not let another tear fall. Billy's never been good at showing his emotions well and Steve Harrington being absolutely amazing to him did not help at all because everything from fucking Steve to kissing Steve lightly as they both came down from their high, was different, Because when he kisses Steve, he feels as if he's pouring all his feelings into that kiss and he just knows Steve can feel it by the way he keens under the kiss and neither try to slip their tongues in, just letting the kiss be sensual and sweet.

And the way Steve looks at him when they part ways makes Billy want to run away with Steve, and live a happy and long life in a place they can be themselves. But, reality will set in and he'll remember who he is and where the fuck they live, just like that, the shittyness of real life hits him and he's pushing himself out of Steve's bed quickly and parting without even a simple goodbye.

-

They avoid each other for about two weeks, they don't say anything to each other if they don't have to, during practice they don't even go near each other, most people don't really notice because most probably think it's because Billy and Steve hate each other.

It's only until one day after school, Billy doesn't know what tempts him to call after Steve in the parking lot. Billy doesn't even know why he's even still there, Max had left early because she was sick and school had ended half an hour ago. Truthfully, Billy does know why he is still there, he knew Steve goes to extra help on Thursdays and stays an extra twenty five minutes after school.

"Harrington, wait up,"

Steve stops in his tracks but doesn't turn around until Billy taps him on his shoulder.

"Are you heading home now?"

Billy's heart is beating fast and he feels his hand begin to buzz a little.

"Yeah, actually,"

Steve's doing his signature awkward neck rub as he looks at his shoes and fidgets with the zipper on his jacket.

Billy notices this and looks around the empty parking lot before he's tugging Steve by the zipper Steve was fidgeting with, his hands may linger a little too long near Steve's fingers.

"Look, I just wanted to say I'm sorry about what happened the other day, I know you don't want to marry me, I mean imagine me in a suit, I would need at least three buttons opened, that's not very appropriate during a wedding huh?"

Billy smiles at the small laugh Steve let's out as he finally meets Billy's eyes.

"That would be an interesting image though,"

Steve says the words so quietly as if he didn't want Billy to hear him.

Steve's suddenly pressing his head against Billy's forehead and Billy tries to resist the urge of pulling away from the gentle touch.

"Follow me,"

Steve pulls way so quick Billy is surprised the guy doesn't have whiplash as he hops in his car and grins at Billy as he points at Billy's car parked a few feet away. Billy couldn't help but grin back as he got behind the wheel of his car, intending to follow the older boy back to his house.

Steve Harrington was going to kill him.

-

The day Billy comes to terms that he is absolutely, positively in love with Steve Harrington is random.

After Billy had apologized and they drove back to Steve's house, things had changed. That day, after Billy had fucked Steve so hard (he left bruises on Steve's hipbones) missing the warm heat of the boy, missing the willingness and softness of Steve, Billy had stayed after they came, it was an 'in the moment' choice he had decided to make, and didn't regret it because hearing the shock in Steve's voice ("You stayed,") after Steve had woke up from his ten minute nap, it made Billy want to cry in adoration for the other boy. Ever since then, things between the boys became different, a better different. Billy is still trying to get used to it.

Steve and Billy are laying down in Billy's bed, they had skipped their last period and came to Billy's house intending on fooling around but their plans had changed when they arrived. Steve had saw Billy's stack of cassette tapes on his dresser and immediately got distracted.

"For as shitty of a person that you are, you have really good taste in music"

Steve jokes as he walks over to the cassette player, placing Hot on Your Heels by Steeler in the player. Rock music begins to play quietly as Steve begins to move his head to the beat.

"Turn it up Harrington" Billy demands with a large smile on his face.

Steve looks back at Billy sitting on the bed, he's leaning back, his weight supported on his arms, his head is tilted back a little and he looks so relaxed, and joyful in that moment, all Steve can do is grin as he turns the player up to the second highest volume.

Billy watches the other boy move his head wildly as the song goes on, and then Billy's letting out a genuine belly laugh as Steve dives onto the floor on his knees, strumming at his stomach as if he has on a guitar, he begins to sing along to the lyrics.

"Don't you know you could break my heart? You told me you love me, and you told me you don't. I'm calling you, you're telling me your bored."

Billy ignores the lyrics to the song, he knows Steve didn't purposely pick his song, or at least he hopes he didn't, because Billy doesn't want Steve to think he's leading him on, he knows he said that they just fucked and that was it but they both know that isn't true anymore, their relationship had progressed way past fuck buddies. That scared Billy.

Billy stands up abruptly as he practically stomps over to the player, pressing the off button so hard, he's pretty sure the tip of his finger bent all the way back.

"Hey, dude, I was gett-"

"Steve, go,"

Billy tries to say the words with confidence, he really does, but when they come out, he sounds like a vulnerable and weak little kid.

"What? Are you okay?" Steve stands up now and is walking over to Billy who can't even make eye contact with him.

"Just, please go, what are we even doing? What am I doing? You're literally Steve Harrington,"

Billy takes a pause as he lets out a non humorous laugh, and rubs over his face before he sighs and continues speaking, still avoiding eye contact with the confused boy in front of him.

"You're Steve Harrington and I'm Billy Hargrove, do you see what's wrong with that? You're perfect, and I'm a fucking screw up,"

Billy states the last words so hushed and broken sounding, Steve can't help but immediately softly grab Billy's face, noticing a few tears roll down his cheek, this is his first time seeing Billy cry and he feels like his heart is being poked by little tiny needles.

"You're not a screw up, Billy, you try to act like you don't give a shit about anything but I see the way you act towards people you care about, I remember the very first time I met you, I thought 'who does this asshole think he is?' because you had brushed me off like I was nothing and you didn't give a shit about who I was and then I remember soon after that, the first game we had with you playing, you were making shots all night and then suddenly when there was only 30 seconds left on the clock, you were trying to make one last shot and you missed, you were so mad after that like I could see veins popping out of your neck and your shoulders had slouched and you just put your head down, you seemed out of it for the rest of the night even though we still won by four points, that was when I realized that you actually did give a shit about things in your life and you weren't this nonchalant dickhead who I thought you were, you care about a lot of things and that's what I love about you, you're compassionate and caring even when you try so hard to hide it,"

By the end of Steve's speech, Billy is pressing his cheek into the palm of Steve's hand, his eyes are closed and his breathing is slowing down, as it was harsh and loud before.

"Don't ever think you're a screw up Billy, you're the perfect one"

Billy finally opens his eyes and he looks into Steve's eyes, seeing the big brown eyes look back into his intensely, honesty shining through.

"What else do you love about me, Harrington?" Billy says it with light humor behind the words a small smile playing on his lips.

"You sure know how to ruin an intimate moment Hargrove," Steve laughs as he presses his lips to Billy's.

"But seriously, thank you for saying, what you said, it was nice," Billy thanks Steve awkwardly, thanking someone was also new to him and it didn't help that the person he was thanking, had said the most sappy shit he's ever said in his life, but still made him feel so warm and loved inside.

"Just letting you know, I'm so fucking happy you came into my life,"

And as they stood in the corner of Billy's room, just enjoying each other's company and admiring one another, Billy continued to think of how much he hated himself because amidst the love that he felt in that room with the boy he's wanted since the first day of Hawkins High School, he still wanted so badly to leave that room, and go far far away, escaping the feeling of intamacy and warmth radiating off of Steve, because still no matter what Steve said, Billy did not deserve Steve Harrington.

\--

"You going to Rob's party tonight?" Steve questions Billy as they're walking down the hallway one day.

They've recently started doing this, actually talking to each other civilized in front of others at school. A lot of people had thought it was weird at first, Nancy had even pulled aside Steve one day and questioned if Billy was harassing him or if they were actually friends now. Steve had simply said they were friends and quickly departed the school with Billy, giving Billy a quick blowjob in the back of Billy's Camaro, Billy had laughed at the thought of them being 'just friends'.

"I don't know man, I wouldn't want to take all the attention off of king Steve,"

"You already did that when you became keg king and took all the bitches in the sea away from me," Steve smirks mentioning Billy's previous fighting words.

"I can't help that I ooze sexiness," Billy winks as they make it to Steve's locker, and Billy leans against the one, next to it.

"Well at least you did actually save me one bitch," Steve winks this time.

"Oh fuck off,"

Billy hates that he feels his heart swell at the thought of being the one that's left for Steve, the one that Steve wants to keep. It's stupid, his feelings, and he feels nauseous even thinking like that.

"So are you going? Please come, I want to go because I need to have some fucking fun in this boring town but I don't want to go alone, I'll even pick you up," Steve practically begs as he puts his books in the locker and closes it, turning towards Billy.

"Slow down princess, of course I'm going, I was always planning on going, and if you're offering to pick me up, I wouldn't take down a free car ride,"

"Who said anything about it being free?" Steve grins as he brushes past Billy and slips into his next class right as the bell rings.

\--

Billy really isn't trying to impress Steve, it's not like this is a date or anything, Steve is just picking him up after begging him go, and they're just going to spend the night together, 'holy fuck' Billy thinks, 'this is a date'.

And that's what causes Billy to continuously look at himself in the mirror as he fixes his hair and repeatedly changes his shirts until he finds the right one, a white button down shirt, this time, instead of leaving only three or four buttons unbottoned, Billy unbuttons all of them except for the last bottom one. He looks at himself once more, straightening out his necklace, changing his dangly earring to a stud, spraying hairspray along his torso to make it shiny looking (a trick he had seen in Vogue magazine, he would never admit) and he quickly grabs some cologne before pushing his hands down the front of his pants, rubbing the scent of cologne against the inner part of his underwear.

He exits his room and knocks on Max's door, she opens the door swiftly before she's sitting back on her bed, fidgeting with some shitty looking object Billy had no care for.

"I'm going out and if I'm not back home by 9:00 just say that I'm sleeping over at a friend's house, even if Neil gets angry because I didn't tell him I was staying out , ignore him, I'll deal with it okay?" Billy questions his step sister who has now looked up at him.

"Are you going with Steve?" Max says the words slowly, almost as if she knows the words are going to trigger him.

"Why do you care dipshit? Just do what I said okay? Thanks, goodnight," Billy huffs as he flips the switch in her room and closes the door, leaving her in complete darkness. He almost laughs at the loud "asshole" she yells at him.

As Billy's walking to grab his coat by the front door, he hears the honk of Steve's BMW and calls out quickly "I'm going out" even though he only hears an okay from Susan, he knows he should get approval from his dad too, but he simply doesn't care because his body feels like it's on fire and it's vibrating at the thought of being able to touch and see Steve again, even though they had seen each other a few hours ago.

Billy hustles down the sidewalk and slides smoothly into Steve's car.

"Hey pretty boy, miss me?" Billy winks as he notices Steve taking him in.

"You look amazing Hargrove, did anyone ever tell you, you could be a model if you didn't threaten everyone you met, I'm sure model agencies wouldn't want one of their models going around threatening to break their necks when they take a bad photo of them,"

And just like that, the conversation is humorous and light and Billy is still wondering why he deserves Steve.

\--

They arrive at the party within ten minutes, people give them a double take when they step out the car together, obviously not thinking the two were close enough to go on car rides together, if only they could see how Steve would ride Billy's dick so fucking good, begging for more as if he wasn't already filled to the brim. Yeah, the boys were close enough to take a car ride together.

"Steve? I didn't know you were coming"

Nancy greets Steve as him and Billy walk into the house, she has Jonathan with her and Steve has almost fully gotten over her, he doesn't really have feelings, it just was the fact that she was the first person he thought he may have actually been in love with, but now he's met Billy and his world and his feelings have been flipped upside down.

"Yup, just here to have fun like any regular teenager,"

Maybe the words sounded sarcastic or even had a bit of rudeness in them because he hears Billy let out a snort and sees the boy turn his head, a grin spreading out in his face. This also makes Steve smile, attempting not to laugh at the eye roll Nancy sends more directly at Billy but also gets a snappy tone with Steve.

"You're an idiot, I just didn't think you would be at many parties anymore considering I used to have to drag you to most of them," Nancy explains.

"Well, nope," Steve shrugs awkwardly as he glances at Jonathan who is standing silently behind Nancy.

"How are you Jonathan?" Steve quips as the boy turns his head scarily fast.

"I'm g-good, what about you a-and Billy?" Jonathan chokes out, Steve can see he feels the awkward tension.

"I'm good, what about you Billy?" Steve questions and the words have a hint of humor in them as he finally looks at the boy who was still at his side, now looking at both Nancy and Jonathan.

"I'm great, I'm with my closest friend, and his ex just walked up to him with her boytoy and talked about when they used to date before she left him for the guy that just asked me how I am as if we're acquaintances, which could never happen because, I mean, I'm pretty sure I've already intimidated you or my friend here has, either way, the combo just isn't right, you get it don't you?"

By the time Billy finishes, Steve can see his breathing has picked up and there is anger subsiding, he also keeps clenching and unclenching his fist and Steve lightly brushes his hand against the other boy's to calm him down. Billy doesn't even know why he gets so angry but the fact that Nancy thinks she can come over here and speak to Steve and reminisce on their relationship that she ruined, gets him so upset, because who the fuck could leave such a wholesome human being? And then her boyfriend speaks up and Billy just about fucking loses it.

"We're gonna go," Nancy says quietly, glancing behind at Jonathan as they maneuver their way into the crowd of people.

"You do that" Billy calls out.

Steve finally turns to Billy, a laugh playing at his lips.

"You didn't have to do that Billy, I don't know why she thought it would've been smart to start an actual conversation as if me and her are still truly friends but that's her problem, now, are you ready to get absolutely shitfaced?" Steve practically shouts the last words as he's suddenly pulling Billy into the kitchen.

Billy doesn't get a chance to tell Steve that he'd do anything for him, and maybe that's a good thing he didn't get to tell him that. Billy doesn't know where that would lead.

\--

Steve finds out pretty quickly, when Billy drinks, he doesn't go easy on himself at first, he goes hard and fast. He also doesn't get drunk easily, Steve notices, it takes about five and half beers for Billy to feel buzzed, after three shots of Vodka, Billy is speaking freely and dancing wildly.

"Steve, dance with me baby," Billy whispers against Steve's ear as they stand in the corner of the crowded room, Billy's halfway grinding against Steve and Steve notices a few glances at the two.

"Billy, Billy, you're drunk so I don't think you know what you're doing but your dick is on my thigh and people are watching,"

Steve smiles gently as he talks in a slow and understanding voice. Steve had realized he would be the responsible driver so he had been nursing a bottle of water the whole night, while also nursing Billy of course. Billy chuckles as he pulls away from Steve to look around the room, Billy is drink but he still knows his surroundings and what he's doing, he's just doing it more openly than he would if he was more sober.

"Let them watch, it would be the hottest image of their life, Your legs hiked up around my waist, my hands holding your precious body up as my cock slides in and out of you, you would probably love to be watched while we fucked huh?"

Billy says the words in a hushed voice as he stares intently at Steve, Steve suddenly feels Billy's hand brush in between their crotches and he silently thanks god that the party is so fucking loud because he lets out a moan at the image Billy puts in his head before reality sets in and he remembers that they should probably go somewhere else before people can see any more of them.

"C'mon Billy, we need to find you a room,"

"Am I gonna get to fuck you in that room?"

"Billy!"

\--

Upstairs, Rob has a guest room, Steve's guessing at least, considering the room is pretty empty, besides the bed but he's more hoping it's a guest room because he truthfully didn't want anyone interrupting them, even if he could lock the door.

When they walk into the room, Billy immediately goes to sit at the top of the bed, throwing his shoes off in the process, Steve watches as the younger boy leans his head against the headboard and looks at Steve with his head tilted up a little bit, he has a soft smile on his face and Steve wants to take a moment to admire it but Billy doesn't give him a chance to before he's motioning to Steve.

Billy pats the bed next to him, almost childlike as Steve takes off his shoes and sits shoulder to shoulder with him, Billy would never admit that he feels his skin practically burn at the touch or maybe it's the genuine look of pure contentment shining through on Steve's face as he stares at Billy, either way, Billy wants to wrap himself up in Steve and never let the boy go, he wants to feel Steve all over and melt into Steve, he's not quite sure if those feelings are completely normal but he couldn't care less.

"You're beautiful" Billy states clearly, no slur in his words as his head lolls to the side and he's admiring Steve.

"You're drunk" Steve says the words quietly, reaching up to brush a strand of hair off of Billy's forehead.

"No, seriously you're beautiful, I'm not too drunk to realize that,"

Steve's face heats up at his words and Billy can't help but press his lips against Steve's, he could never get enough of Steve's lips, they're always so plump and soft, they almost feel like a girl's but better because it's Steve.

"Take off your shirt babe,"

Billy mumbles against Steve's lips, maybe Billy was a little drunk because hearing himself call the younger boy pet names, made him want to throw up, but also made him admire the blush that Steve gave. Billy watches the pale boy throw his shirt on the floor as Billy does the same, Steve let's out an audible gasp as Billy grips his torso softly and he's motioning for Steve to sit on his lap, Billy's legs become entrapped by the lighter boy and he would die here if he could.

Billy surprises Steve when he leans forward and takes Steve's right nipple into his mouth, circling the pink nub as he hears the boy in his lap let out a small gasp. Billy softly pinches Steve's left nipple, instinctively thrusting his hips up when when Steve let's out a deep moan.

"Fuck, I need my pants off," Steve groans, tangling his fingers in Billy's hair.

Billy's tongue swirls around Steve's nipple invention more, before he pulls away slightly, making sure to press a kiss to Steve's chest. Steve stands up and quickly pushes his pants down, along with his underwear, Billy almost cums in his pants at the sight of Steve's hard, leaking cock, almost like it's begging to be touched by Billy, begging to feel Billy's hand wrapped around it, dragging out Steve's orgasm.

"C'mere baby,"

Billy squeezes Steve's hand, pulling the boy flush against his body. Billy's suddenly licking down Steve's torso, stopping right at the happy trail leading to the dripping cock.

"Jesus, Billy, d-do something" Steve stutters out as presses his dick against Billy's face.

"Steve,"

Billy gives the boy a warning as he abruptly stands up, gripping Steve's waist he switches spot smoothly, pushing against Steve's shoulders gently to get him to sit down. Billy unbuttons his jean as slowly as he can, watching Steve's hand fidget against his side, resisting the urge to touch himself, Billy can't stop the smile that forms on his face at the thought of Steve not wanting to go against Billy's wishes. Steve acts as if Billy owns him but in reality, If Steve were to tell Billy to sleep in a box for ten years, Billy wouldn't even hesitate to sleep in that box for the next ten years. Steve had Billy in a spell that he just couldn't shake off.

"Suck o your fingers babe, get them nice and wet,"

It's filthy, Billy knows it's fucking filthy, guiding Steve's fingers to his lips and watching the pink lips suck them in. Steve holds eye contact the whole time, and Billy's hands have a mind of its own as they grip his hard cock, moving it up and down the the pace that Steve is going at.

"You're so fucking hot Steve,"

Billy drools as he sees Steve's pink tongue lick stick out to lick down the side of his long fingers. God, how the hell does Steve Harrington look this fucking good with his own fingers shoved down his throat.

"That's good, I want you to fuck yourself now, imagine it's my cock moving in and out of you, fucking you so goddamn good," Billy continues to rub up and down his shaft, trying his hardest not to blow his load on Steve's sweaty body.

If Billy could, he would frame the image of Steve with his fingers in his ass, in his room. He would stare at that picture all day and would have no regrets. As he watches the brunette boy shove one finger in and out, he watches the boy's face twist up in pleasure as he lets Billy's name fall from his mouth.

"Another one babe," Billy encourages as he finally sits on the bed next to Steve.

He's stopped stroking his leaking cock, now he just touches Steve. Steve's head is tilted to the side, thrusting two fingers in.

"God, fuck me Billy, I need you in me,"

Billy is shocked to see that Steve doesn't even have his eyes open, they're closed as if he's imagining the scene right before his eyes, and Billy can't help but realize how fucking in love he is with this guy, this man, the man of his dreams. But he would never say it, because well, this is Steve Harrington and this all still feels like a dream that he's going to wake up from and Steve will say this was all a joke and meant nothing. So Billy keeps it to himself.

"That's it baby, are you nice and wet for me?"

And suddenly Steve is pressing his head to Billy's shoulder and all Billy can really hear is Steve's breath hitch, his hot breath fanning against Billy's shoulder and making goosebumps rise on his arms, then Billy feels droplets of cum hit the back of his hand.

"I'm sorry,"

Steve sighs out and he looks up with a lookthat Billy can only describe as disappointment.

"You did amazing Harrington, don't worry, just lay back and let me take care of you," Maybe this was the softest Billy's ever been to Steve but he couldn't help seeing Steve look so shameful of himself when he should be the last person to feel that way about themselves.

"I'm so sorry,"

Steve whimpers the words as he lays against the bed, letting Billy look over his angelic body. When Billy reaches out to touch Steve's face so delicately his touch is almost featherlike, it shocks the both of them, because besides tonight, Billy is never this gentle with Steve. Sex with Billy is usually fast, hard, rough and wild. The past few weeks, Billy had became almost soothing when he and Steve fucked, it was still rough but there was this peacefulness underneath the harsh grunts. Billy would hold Steve's waist so softly as he pushed in and out of the warm heat until both of them were panting and gasping for more air as if all the oxygen in the world had ran out. Billy had even noticed this the other day, he had tried to lie to himself, ignoring the way his heart drummed against his chest as he watched Steve sleep post orgasm, little sighs escaping those delicate lips, and he tried to ignore how he thought about Steve 24/7 but he knew in his heart what he truly meant, and he had a feeling Steve knew too.

Billy doesn't even know what he's doing really, when he puts his hand on Steve's face, it's like he can feel their energy almost combining and creating this bubble of yearning.

"God, you are so beautiful,"

Billy whispers the words, as if he's talking to himself and Steve isn't there but Steve is there, he's looking right into the eyes of Steve Harrington, king Steve, the most popular guy of Hawkins. Steve's blushing and grinning as he leans in to press his lips to Billy's, even their kiss is sickeningly sweet and Billy wants to puke, or pull away and leave Steve because this is all a little too much but he can't move because truthfully he'd rather die here than walk away right now.

Billy rubs his hands down the lean body, feeling every nook and cranny, before he quickly reaches down for his jeans, pulling out the bottle of lube then he's kneeling in between Steve's creamy thighs that Billy would take time to literally drool over and bite on if he wasn't so desperate to feel Steve clench around his cock.

"So, how are you today princess?" Billy questions breathlessly as he rubs the line over his shaft.

Steve raises an eye as he lets out a low laugh.

"Your dick is about to go in your ass and you're asking me about my day, I swear Billy you-"

Steve cuts himself off with a short groan, and Billy wants to laugh but feeling Steve repeatedly clench and unclench has his eyes almost rolling to the back of his head.

"Jesus, fuck,"

Steve groans as Billy slides all the way in smoothly, and his legs subconsciously wrap around Billy's waist, Billy also subconsciously grips the soft thighs as he thrust back in slow and deep, watching as Steve's mouth drops open in an 'o' shape.

"Yes, right there Billy, fuck yes," Steve begins to ramble on and on as Billy continuingly grinds and slides in and out of the brunette boy.

Billy's can't stop staring at Steve, at the way he just accepts everything Billy gives him, his body fits into Billy's perfectly as if they had been created together and were split apart, now they're back together. Then there's the way Steve relishes in the way Billy grinds into him, he looks as if he's seeing stars as his eyes look dazedly at Billy and somewhere in Billy's mind, he wishes Steve could know that Billy sees stars whenever he looks at Steve, but somewhere in Billy's mind, he doesn't say it because he doesn't want to because it will lead to things Billy's not quite ready to admit.

Steve's hands are grabbing at him, Billy feels the blunt nails digging into his flesh of his arms as he sees Steve's eyes watching him, watching his every move. Billy can't quite help it, he can't stop his hands as they grab Steve's and he's suddenly interlocked with the long, nimble fingers.

And for the first time Billy is completely sure of one thing, and maybe he's even willing to admit out loud. Steve and him are making love. This isn't them fucking, it's passionate, sensual love making.

Steve grips the hands tighter as Billy gives another deep thrust, Steve is still watching him so intently, it has Billy about to cry out in pleasure when Steve also wraps his legs tighter and he's grinding back against his cock, begging for another orgasm.

"I love you,"

Billy says it without thinking, he's watching Steve bite his lip so hard that he's sure blood should be pouring out of it, his fluffy hair sticking to his forehead and Steve still hasn't let go of his hands, the combination of Steve simply being Steve, has Billy blurting out the deepest secret he' said kept hidden a long time, and he knows Steve hears it by the way Steve pauses for a second, his big eyes going wider somehow and Billy's about to pull out, he's already stopped moving, and his heart feels like it's stopped beating but then Steve is squeezing his hand gently and still grinds back against a shocked Billy.

"Say it again," Steve demands panting and tilting his head up slightly, begging for air once again.

Billy can't stop the words forming on his tongue as he says the words slower.

"I love you,"

Billy is picking his pace up again as he raises Steve's arms over his head, pinning the smaller hands into the bed, his cheek pressed against Steve's as his movements get faster, chasing his own orgasm along with Steve.

"Again,"

Steve groans as he pushes back even harder and Billy feels Steve mouthing at his neck and cheek as he finally feels the heat boiling at the bottom of his stomach, thrusting his hips upwards now, he presses his mouth to Steve's forehead finally groaning out he words once again.

"I love you,"

Steve catches Billy's lips with his own as he feels his orgasm hit him like a ton of bricks, his cum spills at the bottom of his stomach as he feels Billy fill him up. Just the feeling of Billy's warm, thick cum filing him up to he brim, makes his dick jump at the feeling.

Billy stays still for a while, partly because he's worn out and partly because he's too afraid to move, too afraid of the confrontation about what just happened.

"Billy, babe, you can get off me now" Steve chuckles as he nudges Billy in the ribs.

Billy's rolling over and it's then that Billy wants to say he's absolutely fucked once again as he takes in post sex Steve again,disheveled hair, rosy cheeks, bitten red lips, and a sweaty how that Billy fucking loves.

"You held my hand,"

Steve says after a moment of silence, they can still hear the party downstairs and somewhere in the back of Billy's mind, he's thinking why they haven't been caught yet but he realizes he should focus on the task at hand.

"And you said 'I love you'" Steve adds as he turns to look at Billy.

Billy wasn't quite sure about the look he was going to receive from Steve, maybe expecting disgust because Billy's dad had raised him to think showing too much affection, was a sign of weakness. His own father hadn't said "I love you" and here he was, telling another man he loved him, Steve Harrington, at that.

"I love you too, you know"

Steve whispers the words to Billy, as if the people at the party could hear and were going to run off and tell, but in reality it was only two of them in that room, sharing 'I love you's' to one another.

"Sometimes...sometimes it feels like I'm floating or in a dream, just looking down at myself and imagining all of this," Billy huffs out while turning to finally meet Steve's eyes.

"But when I'm with you, that's when I especially feel like that, like any moment I'm gonna, fucking, wake up and all this happy shit will be gone," Billy doesn't mean for the words to sound so harsh or angry but they do.

"Well you're not dreaming and all this 'happy shit' is real, I'm here and I gotta tell you something-" Steve turns onto his back and reaches his hand down to grip Billy's hand laying in between their naked bodies.

"I'm so fucking in love with you Billy Hargrove, "

Billy could say that he's dreaming this whole scenario but when he feels Steve's thumb tracing the back of his hand and he can feel Steve's body pressed against him, his big brunette hair invading Billy's nostrils, Billy realizes that no, this is not a dream, and yes, he can finally say that he, Billy Hargrove is completely and utterly fucked because he is so goddamn in love with Steve Harrington.

\--

Steve and Billy stay in the room for at least another hour before there's a knock and someone insisting they come in to lay down.

Seeing the shock on Rob's face knowing the king of Hawkins and the new kid were in a sex smelling room was quite the talk as they drive away in Steve's car, ignoring all the whispers and strange glances they had received before.

And no matter how many people turned their heads towards them, the only thing Billy could think was how beautiful Steve Harrington looked walking through that party without a care in the world. He also thought about the feeling of being in love, he now enjoyed the rapid heart beat that only beat for Steve in this way.

He enjoyed the feeling of being in love with Steve Harrington.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Gonna make a Hargrove tumblr soon:)))


End file.
